I have been proper poorly, this is the first time I have ventured out this week and I am still feeling pretty shaky. I can't decide if I still have a temperature or whether I am just having one of my many 'tropical moments'! But at least today I can breathe!
However in my poorly-ness I have read a pretty inspiring book and written the first three paragraphs of a short story so I suppose it was worth it.
I will tonight consume my first alchoholic drink for a whole week and I am very much looking forward to it!
Cheers!
Thursday, 26 March 2009
Thursday, 19 March 2009
At last!
Well my flat has finally been sold !!!! It has only taken 18 months of trauma and frustration for me and a total lack of concern, in fact total indifference from the Estate Agents and the Mortgage Company. It was sold on 13th February and I have only just found out. This was only when I rang the Estate Agents to find out how things were going. I didn't even know it was under offer!! I have only lost £80,000 on the sale so I shouldn't really complain .....
Monday, 23 February 2009
An explanation
A good friend advised me to explain the reason for my previous post. A poem entitled 'A Possibility' He suggested that Blogs are a place to share experiences and sometimes a place to receive support.
Two weeks ago, my son and his wife, the couple whose wedding last summer I so happily posted about, lost the baby that they had so excitedly looked forward to. The baby died in the womb and this was a terrible shock for them. This would have been my first grand child. I am so sad for my son and his new wife. I cannot imagine how they are feeling at the moment. For myself, well the poem says all that I need to say.
Two weeks ago, my son and his wife, the couple whose wedding last summer I so happily posted about, lost the baby that they had so excitedly looked forward to. The baby died in the womb and this was a terrible shock for them. This would have been my first grand child. I am so sad for my son and his new wife. I cannot imagine how they are feeling at the moment. For myself, well the poem says all that I need to say.
Friday, 20 February 2009
A possibility ..
Each tiny hand
with finger curled
each candy toe
with pearly nail
each downy arm
and chubby knee
sadly now can never be.
time will ease
the wish of you
and everything
you might have been
you've gone but
in my heart
your candle flickers
still, unseen.
with finger curled
each candy toe
with pearly nail
each downy arm
and chubby knee
sadly now can never be.
time will ease
the wish of you
and everything
you might have been
you've gone but
in my heart
your candle flickers
still, unseen.
Friday, 23 January 2009
Respite is over.
Well apparently, two weeks ago he went on trial for 'sexual assault on a young woman'. The trial went on for a week to result in a 'Hung Jury'. On Monday there was a retrial and the prosecution collapsed because the alleged victim was unable to testify for a second time as the ordeal was too much for her. He was released as a free man on the same day.
Result - another woman walks in fear on the streets of Brighton.
Result - another woman walks in fear on the streets of Brighton.
Tuesday, 9 December 2008
A moment of respite
Well, I am free to roam the streets of Brighton once more.
I was contacted by the police on Friday to inform me that 'The Perpetrator' has been taken into custody until at least the 5th of January 2009.
This means that I can freely visit my friends in Brighton and even press my nose up against a few shop windows. I can wander through the North Lanes and stroll along the sea front without fear. It is a good feeling.
But...
I hope the crime he has been arrested for has not been against a woman.
I would hate to think my gain has been at another's expense.
I was contacted by the police on Friday to inform me that 'The Perpetrator' has been taken into custody until at least the 5th of January 2009.
This means that I can freely visit my friends in Brighton and even press my nose up against a few shop windows. I can wander through the North Lanes and stroll along the sea front without fear. It is a good feeling.
But...
I hope the crime he has been arrested for has not been against a woman.
I would hate to think my gain has been at another's expense.
Monday, 1 December 2008
Baby P , I despair...
As you know I have personal experience of abused women. The women that I came in contact with, in the refuge, had experienced domestic violence on a daily basis and also extreme controlling behaviour. After escaping domestic violence, their choices were very limited, after a time they will be offered council housing (temporary) which can be for six months or up to two years.
One example, that i experienced, was one of the women, a woman who had been subjected to violence for 22 years, the flat she went to had been lived in by a person with 13 cats and five dogs. To move in she had to scrub ( and we are talking about a person who suffered from OCD ) dog and cat poo from skirting boards and under doors, the floor boards were absolutely soaked with animal urine, the place stank.
Eventually, after six weeks, the council had to replace carpets, floor boards etc etc. She was in a state of despair.
She had left her home and three children because her partner threatened to kill her. She lived in terror of him finding her. She could not tell her children where she was in case they let it slip where she lived. She had already changed her name. He had totally poisoned her children against her and they blamed her for leaving him. She had already returned three times because her children had begged her, as a reward for this he had beaten her to an inch of her life.
When in a refuge, these women are alone in a new area having escaped from a violent partner. The children beg to see their dad again, they do not understand. They have often left a comfortable home, their friends and all that is familiar to them. They have left behind their children's schools and friends and the alternative, for some, is very depressing. They try, for the children's sake and for their own safety, to start again. The reason these women are in a refuge is because they have no supportive family who will take them in.
They often over discipline their children. I worry that when they leave the refuge and are alone in an isolated flat this may be exacerbated. Because of financial deprivation, the loneliness and the reasons listed above, the majority of these women go back to abusive partners.
What can be done?
As you know I have personal experience of abused women. The women that I came in contact with, in the refuge, had experienced domestic violence on a daily basis and also extreme controlling behaviour. After escaping domestic violence, their choices were very limited, after a time they will be offered council housing (temporary) which can be for six months or up to two years.
One example, that i experienced, was one of the women, a woman who had been subjected to violence for 22 years, the flat she went to had been lived in by a person with 13 cats and five dogs. To move in she had to scrub ( and we are talking about a person who suffered from OCD ) dog and cat poo from skirting boards and under doors, the floor boards were absolutely soaked with animal urine, the place stank.
Eventually, after six weeks, the council had to replace carpets, floor boards etc etc. She was in a state of despair.
She had left her home and three children because her partner threatened to kill her. She lived in terror of him finding her. She could not tell her children where she was in case they let it slip where she lived. She had already changed her name. He had totally poisoned her children against her and they blamed her for leaving him. She had already returned three times because her children had begged her, as a reward for this he had beaten her to an inch of her life.
When in a refuge, these women are alone in a new area having escaped from a violent partner. The children beg to see their dad again, they do not understand. They have often left a comfortable home, their friends and all that is familiar to them. They have left behind their children's schools and friends and the alternative, for some, is very depressing. They try, for the children's sake and for their own safety, to start again. The reason these women are in a refuge is because they have no supportive family who will take them in.
They often over discipline their children. I worry that when they leave the refuge and are alone in an isolated flat this may be exacerbated. Because of financial deprivation, the loneliness and the reasons listed above, the majority of these women go back to abusive partners.
What can be done?
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