The first steps towards freedom.

When I arrived at the refuge, in my room, on the chest of drawers, were two small wicker baskets full of shampoo, shower gel, soaps, toothpaste, toothbrushes and combs. There was freshly laundered cream bed linen, a burgundy bath towel, hand towel and flannel. The furniture was laminated pine, the curtains and carpets were burgundy and every thing was serene and welcoming. It was such a surprise to me.

Apparently all the refuges run by Refuge provide the same kind of essentials and similar peaceful surroundings, which I think is really important for traumatised women seeking a place of safety. For me it made the whole transition from home to communal living a much easier experience. I hope any women, who are reading this blog will be encouraged by this information.


The key workers are absolutely amazing. They are kind, helpful and empowering women and professional in every way. Confidentiality in everything is the key.


To begin with they give every possible help with practical things to do with claiming benefits, starting the ball rolling for rehousing, help you get a crisis loan if necessary and give advice on legal matters pertaining to your particular situation. They also provide, and some might say this is the most important thing, trauma counselling and help in trying to find a way forward after having been through such a horrible time.

Without their help and support I would never have survived this experience.


***One thing that any woman who is suffering domestic abuse should know is to always be prepared in case you need to flee at a moments notice. My key worker told me recently that it is vital that somewhere, with someone you can trust, you have a bag packed with essential things in it. These things are. Passports and birth certificates for yourself and any children. Your National Insurance number. This is absolutely vital for getting immediate help with benefits. Any legal papers or copies of police statements or any proof of domestic violence that might help you in the future. Deeds, or copies of deeds or solicitors letters proving ownership of property etc.
Also a change of clothes for yourself and any children.


In my opinion, Refuge is an absolutely necessary place, for women suffering from domestic violence or even for those who don't, to know about. I want to shout it from the rooftops, I want it to be talked about in schools. The more knowledge women have about places of safety the better. It is difficult, because the very nature of the function of women's refuges is that it has to be confidential.

But by contacting the 'link' above or by contacting the 'victim support unit' at your local police station, ' the citizens advice bureau' or the 'Samaritans' they will point you in the right direction of where to go for help. In times of danger call 999.