Without exception, the women I came across at the refuge, displayed such courage, such stoicism, such self-deprecation, it was a lesson to me in women's strength of character.

How can that be when they had put up with so much shit for so long? Surely they must be weak and pathetic victims?

This whole, women as victims idea, is so paradoxical.

These women were managing on next to nothing in the way of money. Some had two or more children to support. They had practically nothing in the way of clothes or possessions. They had left behind friends and family, in some cases for life. They had to adjust to communal living with people they would probably never choose as friends and yet bonds were formed.

Most supported one other, most would share their last penny, most would give wine, cigarettes and chocolate in times of need and most did it with a good and open heart and an enormous amount of humour.

One young woman had three children under five. Can you imagine keeping control of them in such a strange and weird environment which was stuffed full of rules and regulations. Health and Safety procedures had to be adhered to which was a nightmare for some of these young mums. They were not allowed to leave their children unsupervised. Hard to do when there are five other children running around. When you are trying to feed a young baby with six adults fighting for the cooker and the fridge.

Yes, I admire them for their 'determination to make the best of it' attitude. Yes, in my book, these women are courageous.

It is certainly puzzling.....