Friday 5 November 2010

Trying to be a good nanny...



My week end was a strange one. Because I live quite a long way from my grandson and because times is 'ard, I have to stay with my son and daughter-in-law when I visit. This is both good and bad. It means I get to spend two or three days with gorgeous little Joe but this inevitably puts a strain on a household adjusting to a new baby.

Joe is suffering from both colic and, more problematical, reflux. This means that to lie on his back causes him to get all choked up and is very distressing for both him and his parents. The result is he has to be kept upright. This means that at night he sleeps with one or the other of them and because of fear of smothering him they take it in turns to stay awake.

They are both absolutely shattered. Before Joe was born they lost two babies in a particularly distressing way and this adds to my daughter-in-law's anxiety. My son does most of the night shifts so that his wife can get some sleep. She is breast feeding and this is the only time that Joe sleeps for very long as he cries a lot during the day due to his colic. How my son manages to do his job amazes me. He looks dreadful, he does all the cooking and shopping and makes sure that his wife gets rest at every opportunity. He is such a good husband and father I am in awe. But I worry that something will have to give.

When I stay I try to help as much as I can. I tried doing the night shift but my daughter-in-law was so worried that I would fall asleep she couldn't sleep either so it was a wasted attempt. I did the washing and cooked the evening meals and took Joe out as much as I could to give her a break but I was very aware that having another person in the house was putting a strain on things.

If I were to live nearby I would pop in and out when it suited them, as it is, I will have to stay away for a little while to give them space to work things out by themselves. I will miss Joe and I will worry about them all but at present I think this is the best thing to do.

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