I may delete this by morning

I don't want to look like Joe Brand - much as I love her...

How many times do I have to stand by with a friend while men chat her up and tell me how much they fancy her and to be told I look like Joe Brand and they not even think or care that I might not like to be told that? Then, when I am bored with standing there being ignored, I decide to go outside to have a fag, I get a text saying "come and rescue me, he won't take no for an answer" I am thinking, chance would be a fine thing that anyone would want any answer but no from me! But I go back in and rescue the 'damsel in distress' and she says "What kind of friend are you leaving me on my own with a weirdo like that? Please don't leave me." So I don't. Obviously, after a while, he comes over again ( a bit the worse for wear in the alcohol department) so she tries to hide behind me and I stand between them and he says " that is really weird" and I say (trying to make a joke of it) "well I am a bit weird." He says "I understand you trying to protect her but that is truly weird."

So now I am a weird Jo Brand look-a-like. Great!

Well this friend ( who was in the refuge with me, is now a bit freaked out and wants to go home) I understand this, but so much for my evening out which doesn't happen very often, so we leave. I haven't had a drink because I am driving ( she offered to put me up for the night and then couldn't at the last minute because family needed the sofa) so I take her home. ( We sit in the car for a while and she gets upset saying "why do only weirdos find her attractive") I commiserate thinking apart from, the as for mentioned weirdo person who told me I looked like Joe Brand, nobody had spoken to me all evening, anyway I hug her and then drive home.

Where I live I have a permit to park in only designated areas. When I arrive back all the spaces are taken. So I have to park in a car park and pay for a ticket to take me through until ten o'clock the next morning.

I go off to bed feeling pretty fed up and I know I have the electricity people coming the next day somewhere between 8.30am and 5 pm and also my landlord is coming in the morning to mend the door on the freezer compartment on my fridge. So I set my alarm and go to bed.

I am up at 7.30, to make sure I am dressed and breakfasted by 8.30 just in case. At 11 am I suddenly remember the car ( f-ck!) and low and behold I have a parking ticket. I wait in all day for the electricity people and they don't come. I can only assume they forgot or, more than likely, came when I was parking the f--king car.

I may look like Joe Brand but right now I do not have her sense of humour.